Cakap Cakap by Si Arnab Gemok

Assalamualaikum Hello guys, HAPPY 2020!!! Source: happynewyearwishess.com Dulu masa kecik-kecik selalu fikir lambatnya lagi nak tahun 2020. And now, we are finally here, man. For late 80s babies like me, basically we grew up with the phrase Wawasan 2020. Masa Pendidikan Seni, confirmed every single one of us mesti pernah kena lukis "Sila bayangkan tahun 2020". Pastu gigih laa kau melukis kereta terbang, robot hidup di kalangan manusia, highway bertingkek-tingkek, orang pergi kerja pakai jet pack bagai (HAHA!). Jenuh mintak mak bapak masing-masing belikan water color jenama Buncho dengan drawing block berbuku-buku. Macam ala-ala movie Tomorrowland. Serius sama. Cuba korang tengok movie tu and compare dengan lukisan tahun 2020 korang masa darjah 2 Bestari. :P Maybe gambaran kita untuk tahun 2020 tu jauh sama sekali tapi we did grow older and things do changed. Dulu melukis kereta terbang sambil kesat hingus kat baju sekolah, sekarang menghad...

Assalamualaikum Currently listening: 1. Falling Like The Stars - James Arthur 2. Hold Me While You Wait - Lewis Capaldi Though we just entered December, I gotta say I am so over 2019 already. This year has been really something for me. So many going ons, physically and emotionally. But then again, who am I kidding right? Honestly, I have been saying I had tough year since, urm I donno, 2014? Part of me know what is my biggest struggle since the said year. And by God, the struggle ain't getting any easier. In fact, it's getting super hard each year. And I feel like I'm drowning most of the time. Like I'm losing my grip over my whole emotions. I don't really like to talk about my feelings much with people. I mean, "hate" would be a strong word to use but it is true. I hate confiding in people, not because I have trust issue. But I hate it when people say I am being a crybaby who is not grateful and to blind to see how blessed my l...

Assalamualaikum As promised, I'm gonna share my laparoscopy experience in this post. To those who haven't read the first part, do check it out here: 61st: I Got Two Holes On My Belly (Part 1)   . First thing first, let me do some disclaimer. This is a personal experience of mine and it is not gonna be the same for everyone.  But I really hope that what I'm about to share can give extra courage to those who are going to undergo the same procedure. As I have mentioned before,  Dr Hamid Arshat  advised me to undergo a laparoscopy procedure in order to get thorough view sebab masa initial scanning tak nampak any cyst or fibroid inside my uterus. But based on my monthly period pain, Dr Hamid said there must be some reasons as to why it happens so frequently. It didn't take much (actually it didn't take anything at all except for Dr Hamid's words) to convince me to go under the knife (but laparoscopy procedure takde belah-belah pun so yeay...

Assalamualaikum People who are close to me mostly know that I have a serious period pain problem. I've been living with this monthly issue for years, as far as I remember my period pain started when I was around 15 or 16. Orang kata alah bisa, tegal biasa. Well, guess what, NOT for period pain (those who know, MUST know what I mean). It ain't easy living with this condition. Back then, I had to skip school or call my parents to pick me up at school because of the unbearable pain. And when I entered university, the pain still hasn't go away. Numerous lectures I was absent from and some lecturers did give me a hard time and even made jokes about it (come to think about it, those jokes were quite sexist. Curse you, Baby Boomers, who aren't woke enough to learn sensitivity!). But the worst, is now. Two words = Working life. You know how your job just won't give you a chance to take a break even when you feel like you're dying? And your boss and col...

CONFESSION BY: Someone who overthinks a lot lately and this might not be at all happening as she's currently overthinking. This feels familiar. The air when the situation has gone silence for a while. That cold air in a dark empty room. The "I wish this never happened". It will always burn and end anyways. Who am I kidding right?? It's too good to be true. Time and time again when it started, I tell myself "Why are you acting so dumb? Thinking that this could end the other way around?" It's time to be true to yourself. You are better off alone anyways. Happier in fact. Although you are the happiest when love comes to greet you, you know there's that worry feeling because it never works out. Maybe it's cause of YOU. Have you ever think of that before? Time for a reality check, missy. There I go, too harsh on my own self yet again. Have faith though, it will definitely make you stronger. I won't lose faith, insyaAllah. ...

Assalamualaikum Have you guys ever fall in love with this one baju of yours that you guys could wear them EVERY SINGLE DAY without feeling bored and each time you put it on, you feel empowered and super confident? Well, I have. In fact, numerous times since I learned the language of style. Gitchew~ My obsession started with one of my dresses when I was around 3 to 4 years old. I still remember the exact design of the dress. White and red in color. The dress is adorned with 3 dimensional tomatoes (the tomatoes literally hang from the front part of the dress). I tell you, it's really cute. I mean that's why my mom bought it for me right. But I fell too deeply in love with it that I wanted to wear the dress, like I said earlier, EVERY. SINGLE. DARN. DAY. Behold the collection of my childhood photos. See that magnificent tomatoes dress? Yup, that's the one guys! I even smiled proudly some more while wearing it. My parents saw the seriousness of the ...

Assalamualaikum Oh hey, guess what? This is my third post this year. Wow, I'm on fire guys!! I have been thinking since I wrote my last post as to why lately I seem to be losing touch to blog. I mean, I just don't get what is wrong with me? I still love writing and membebel-ing. But I feel that my writing skill has declined a.k.a. mereput a.k.a. sendu big time. So after many sleepless nights of thinking (or more likely Netflix binge-watching), I've come to a conclusion: I am everywhere but here . I mean, my body is here, my fingers are typing but my mind keeps going wild you know. Sometimes while I'm writing, I keep thinking " Ada lagi ke orang baca blog nowadays?" or "Who will read this?" or "Will people think I'm lame for still blogging about my personal life?" coz you know now blog is all about being a marketing tool to sell oneself, therefore this blog is totally out of question coz we all know how minimal I blog and...

Assalamualaikum A few days ago one of my friends told me that I am such a good listener (ahem~) and a very empathetic person (ok did she said "very"? Maybe. But the keyword is "empathetic") that she suggested for me to become a counselor or therapist (let me stress this once again, MY FRIEND said it. NOT me). But what does she know right?? I mean, psshhh (while smugly smiling). Ahahahahahh. Anywaysss, as I was going through my blog, I came across one of my entries from 2016 and it was a confession entry. Then an awesome idea struck me. What if I create a special, safe place for my bae blog readers a.k.a Bloggermoks a.k.a you guys to vent your heart out by sending in your confession/s on just about everything that you wanted to. I have always wanted to reach out to all of you even more and always thinking of how to do it so I figure this might be one of the ways. I might not be qualified enough to give you guys advice, or is it advise? See, I am not eve...

Assalamualaikum Hello good people who's currently reading this. HAPPY 2018 gaizzz!!! It's March already which means 2 months of 2018 has been crossed off. So what have you guys been up to?? As for me, my 2018 started off pretty well, alhamdulillah. I feel this year is gonna be a much better year than the last one. InsyaAllah~ By the way, this year marks the end of my 20s as I have entered the 30 series bandwagon last month. Kalau ada yang nak send hadiah birthday tu belum terlambat lagi ok. :) So since it's new year and it's the cliche time of the "New year, new me" talk, I think I might as well roll with it. For 2018, I have so many plans. Plans for myself. And also plans that include my loved ones. First and foremost, I have made a pact with myself to read, at least, 6 books this year . And I am currently on book number 2. Woohoo to me!! I know 6 books is nothing for some but for me, who is currently struggling so hard to adjust to sev...

Assalamualaikum Such a lovely Tuesday today . Too bad some people just had to ruin it for yaa aite ?? Which brings us to the one epic question many of us still aren't able to answer (regardless of how vital it might be . Eeeeven if our lives depend on it) : HOW TO LOVE OUR JOB WHEN OUR JOB (OR THE PEOPLE THERE) IS NOT LOVING US ? Could have made a longer entry on this but hey , better not now coz I might need loadsss of bleeping . Source: Google Image I wish nothing but the best for everyone who is struggling out there . You are not alone . We are many . Thus we are legion . :P Till then, stay strong and safe . Curse if you may . It helps . A lot . XD Salam menggemok and Toodles~ Assalamualaikum and Have a blast yaww !!!

CONFESSION BY : *Aryana (Female, 28, Government Servant, Married) Assalamualaikum I guess it is about time for this kind of confession to be made.  All those cynicism, umpatan, kejian, fitnah dan ketidakadilan kepada golongan sebegini must be stopped. Golongan yang selalu dipandang serong. Golongan yang selalu dianaktirikan. Golongan yang selalu disalah anggap. Obviously everyone will eventually fall sick one way or another. But ada sesetengah golongan manusia (read : yang kurang bernasib baik) yang akan lebih kerap jatuh sakit berbanding orang lain. Istilah saintifik, saya taktahu. Tapi pengalaman sebenar, saya lebih daripada tahu. Sikit-sikit, sakit kepala. Sikit-sikit, demam. Sikit-sikit, ke klinik. Sikit-sikit, warded. As a person who has numerous health issues (migrain, gastritis, menstrual cramps, acute sinus, just to name a few. Hopefully janganlah bertambah-tambah lagi), saya dah merasa bagaimana sukarnya kehidupan berkerjaya bila berhadap...

Assalamualaikum Have you guys ever feel trapped, suppressed and restrained from being your own self? Have you guys ever feel like being forced to be someone else and not being given the chance to shine in your own way? And, have you guys ever feel like just leaving everything behind and don't even give a freak about any of em? Three Yes's would have been the summarize of my life currently. It's not like I didn't try. It's not like I didn't improve. It's not like I didn't make any changes. It's just that no matter how hard I try to improve and change, things always turned out the same (at least from what I see as of now). I know I'm not perfect and may not be as good as many of those who have already excelled in their own ways but I also know I'm not as bad as what they perceived me as.  I'm not sad. I'm more on the angry side.  Because as things building up, I'm not sure for how long I can st...

Assalamualaikum  Selamat hari Selasa to all bloggermoks and jugak readers blog saya ni. Apa habaq semua?? Harini korengs pergi kerja/kuliah/sekolah tak??  Ai bekerja seperti biasa, setiap hari (tiada cuti) sebagai PA sepenuh masa for my mom. Alang-alang belum mencari apa-apa kerja di sektor swasta mahupun kerajaan ni, maka saya bekerjalah dengan sepenuh masa (dan hati) sebagai seorang anak (read: driver, pembantu peribadi, pekerja rencam, etc) kepada mak saya. Best okay! Tiap-tiap minggu dapat upah pergi shopping. Mwahahahaff!! XD Anyway, as usual, malam tadi tangan ai ni laju je scrolling gambar-gambar kat feed Instagram. Bila dah follow 200 orang kat Instagram tu, maka pelbagai jenis gambar laa yang saya nampak setiap kali saya on Instagram.  Selalu terlintas dalam fikiran, "Ya Allah, bestnya life depa ni semua. Pergi big events, dapat beli baju/kasut/handbags branded and cantik-cantik plak tu, paling awesome bila pergi luar negara tu dah macam daily life routines...